oh my fucking god
so i’m reading this harry potter fic
and every now and then there are words like “arseented” and “marseaging” and “arseistance” and i was trying to figure out what the hell is going on
finally i got to the word “parse” and figured it out
they’re american so after they wrote it they did a find and replace to change every “ass” to “arse”
i can’t stop laughing omg
"Word has made 436 replacements."
"That sounds right."
There’s this shitty thing that happens when you learn about the reality of racism, sexism and misogyny. You start to hear it from the mouths of your parents, grandparents, friends and siblings and you can’t ignore it anymore but you’ll see how many of them will ignore you when you speak out about it.
Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s
You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.
OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM.
I did both…
i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now
You kinky son of a bitch.
I used to step on mine until they exploded.
can you imagine though
you send your enemies a rather large amount of these in various sizes. you leave no return address or explanation. they open all the boxes to discover these wondrous pillows. they are reluctant to keep them but eventually they give in and integrate them into their home like the above pictures. after a few weeks or even months, theyve gotten accustomed to having them in their home and routinely relax in a large pile of the odd pillows. until one night you just take every single one back and replace them with actual rocks of the same dimensions so that when its time for them to relax and unwind from their day day fall into a pile of hard unmoving boulders. they break their spine and are paralyzed. you have won
What the fuck is wrong with you…
Tumblring on my phone
- Mom: who are you texting?
- Me: nobody
- Mom: what are you doing then?
- Me: nothing